


I Want to Get Creamed By Ladd Russo

by YukakoYamagishi



Category: Nope - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5113946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukakoYamagishi/pseuds/YukakoYamagishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A happy Halloween prank joke fun fic for my girlfriend. Happy Halloween babe ;) ;) ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want to Get Creamed By Ladd Russo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aliensarereal666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensarereal666/gifts).



> It's Halloween and that means it's time for a scary story!! This is based on two quotes from an anonymous source that haunt my every waking moment.

It was a dark and stormy night. It was also Halloween night. And a full moon. And Friday the 13th. But above all it was a dark and stormy night, a cacophony of thunder filling the air outside, and inside the extremely loud hoots and hollers echoed the electricity crackling through the air. We were playing truth or dare. Strike that. A group of young and attractive people were playing truth or dare (I am not about write this entire thing in first person lol way too difficult). Anyways, inside a group of young and attractive people and Ladd Russo were playing truth or dare. Joshuu was there.

The bottle whirled around, flying past the joyful faces of people having fun at other's expense. It slowed slowly to a crescendo of cheering and landed on... The one, the only, the most beautiful goddess in the room, Mouse Molly Mouseguts Magic Piss Dragon Nefferpitou-San!!! Oh no shit wait that is In-cor-fucking-rect. That's not how the story goes, please forgive me I just woke up and it's like 2 am or something. No, as the bottle slowed, it slid past the disappointed Joshuu and landed directly on... the one, the many, the beautiful though certainly not a goddess, Dar Darling "Danny Elfman Fucker" Solaceon Moss!!! That's right, motherfuckers. Whoever the bottle landed on next would have the pleasure and the privilege of getting truth or dared by the Slime Man herself. Everyone (save the lovely Mouse) visibly gulped.

Dar reached for the bottle with her black clawed fingers and twisted it into action. In opposition to the previous run, it was dead silent. As it continued its whirling dance, the glass of the bottle could be heard whistling against the floor, a delicate high pitched sound like a distant scream. Dar leaned back against Mouse and rested her head on her shoulder. Their fingers intertwined. There really was a distant sound of screams.

Ahem ANYWAYS. The bottle had stopped before anyone had noticed. It landed on Ladd Russo. He hurriedly swallowed the berries and cream he had previously been frantically shoveling into his disgusting Ladd mouth.

"I'm a little Ladd who loves berries and cream." He explained. He was pointedly ignored.

"So. What's your poison, Ladd, truth or dare?" Dar finally spoke after a suitable and lengthy awkward silence after Ladd's berries and cream statement.

"Dare of course! I, Ladd Russo, live for pain and bloodshed!"

"Ladd, that literally has nothing to do with this. You're making it seem like the author has no grasp on your character and can't decide how to write you past silly jokes and obtuse statements about your initially percieved personality." Diavolo said.

"I'm Ladd Russo and I love to fight!! If you mess with me, you're gonna get creamed!" Ladd Russo shouted without even a glance at Diavolo because it's too tough for me to even imagine character interaction with him. It's 2 am and I'm not about to research Ladd Russo for the express purpose of writing a joke fic I'm sorry.

Dar opened her mouth to dare Ladd Russo to shut the fuck up, but before she could speak, Mouse whispered in her ear. What she said is so haunting, so horrifying, please brace yourself.

"I want to get creamed by Ladd Russo."

Dar would have screamed if all the air had not suddenly and inexplicably left her body. It's like the atmosphere wished to grant her a swift and suffocating death after hearing that statement. But she did not die. She only stared at Mouse in horror, her eyes threatening to burst from her sockets.

Mouse pointedly looked at Ladd Russo and the bottle pointing at him and winked at Dar. She- she wanted Dar to dare Ladd Russo to cream her. This was Dar's worst nightmare. And the worst part was, Mouse looked so cute it would be impossible to say no. Dar took a deep breath.

"Ladd Russo, I dare you to leave this party and not come back." 

Ladd cried as everyone pushed him out the door laughing. Mouse pouted but soon laughed because who wouldn't laugh at that. And all was right with the world. Until later that night...

~~~

Mouse was walking home alone which is absolutely ridiculous she should just stay over with Dar it doesn't make any sense at all, don't they live together? If Ladd Russo could come to their party then Dar and Mouse most certainly live together don't you think? Ugh anyways...

Mouse was walking home alone from the corner store which she had stopped at to get kit kats (because Dar ate them all) and Dr Pepper (because Dar threw it all out). She was walking past a dark and spooky alley with plenty of fog in it when suddenly she heard a noise.

It sounded like somebody frantically shoving berries and cream down their throat in anger.

"Ladd, is that you?" Mouse called in concern.

Suddenly, out from the alleyway rushed a figure in a white suit, bowl of berries and cream clattering to the ground as he whipped out a gun. Ladd swiftly pinned Mouse against the wall.

"Your girlfriend is gonna pay for humiliating me like that!! I'm gone hit her where it hurts the most. Her heart." Ladd snarled. And then noticed Mouse puckering her lips.

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't this the part where we make out? With teeth?" Mouse looked up at Ladd, her big eyes glittering in the moonlight despite the fact I literally just now remembered it was supposed to be dark and stormy.

Ladd grinned. I gagged.

"Well, dollface, if you insist." I gagged even harder and threatened to lose my dinner but since I am only the writer Mouse and Ladd didn't know that and Ladd leaned in slowly closing the distance between he and Mouse. Her breath quickened and her eyes slid closed, her mouth parted slightly in waiting.

Dar jumped in from above, kicking Ladd in the face and crashing him to the ground.

"Trick or treat, bitch."

Everyone cheered including Mouse because who wouldn't cheer at the line 'trick or treat, bitch'?

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!


End file.
